Rugby Championship Review - Argentina 17 - 19 South Africa

‘Bullying’ is generally a pretty negative word.  Speak it and you are treated to images of crack-burning wedgies, Chinese burns and a child who is unfortunate enough to be half decent at maths with his head being flushed in a toilet bowl.  All good character building stuff...or rather soul destroying for a youngster.  But in rugby the idea of being the bully is an entirely positive attribute – especially in the case of matches between the Pumas and the Springboks, where complete dominance of the other side, to the point where they cannot function, is a key objective prior to the game.

Of course, there was no doubt who was the bully and who was the bespectacled child with his underpants pulled over his head when the 2 sides met in the first round of the Rugby Championship in South Africa.  The men in green literally obliterated their opponents, to the point where the Argentines frankly looked like they didn’t want to play any more – dropping off tackles and throwing abysmal intercepts.   The South Africans, though, were rampant, with the power of Willem Alberts and Duane Vermeulan proving to be particularly destructive.  Surely the South Americans couldn’t seriously hope to overturn such a drubbing just because they were at home?

Straight away though, it became pretty apparent that this wasn’t going to be anything like their last meeting.  The hosts had been embarrassed, and there was a typical South American fire in their eyes when they lined up against their ultra physical opponents on Saturday – a desire to right a few wrongs.  Lock Mariano Galarza snaffled a loose ball and delightfully chipped forwards, and the visitors were somewhere they hadn’t been for a fair while – under pressure.   Felipe Contepomi and Marcelo Bosch affected a turnover and, although they ran out of room and ball went into touch on the first attempt, they were not to be denied as they executed a slick lineout move that allowed Juan Manuel Leguizamon to wriggle over on the right.  Contepomi added a marvellous conversion and the Argentines had a dream start.

Whilst the Pumas had the bit between their teeth, the Springboks were looking as limp as a dead fish and another loose ball allowed Martin Landajo to scamper 50 metres down the right and put more pressure on the visitors.  Thankfully for the South Africans they were able to clear their lines and settle things down with a dreadful 5 minute series of scrums that never completed – a bad indication on the new engagement rules.  Despite the scrums looking more of a contest than last week, the Beast still had an advantage over Juan Figallo and managed to engineer a penalty, which Morne Steyn slotted.

The Pumas, though, had shown more intent and verve in the opening 10 minutes than they showed all game last week, and were rewarded when Bjorn Basson was penalised for offside, which allowed Contepomi to restore his side’s 7 point lead.  It should also be noted that the Argentine veteran is now so big time that he had a mini remote controlled landrover to bring his kicking tee on for him – as the kicking coach may be thinking, “why walk?”.  

Despite the promising start though, the Pumas were still showing lapses of judgement, which was obvious when they failed to clear their lines and it resulted in South African pressure and ultimately a try, following great passing by Steyn and JJ Engelbrecht to put Basson into the corner.  Steyn added the extras and we were all square.

The game then tightened up into the traditional arm wrestle as Argentina tried to batter down the South Africans with short balls, but the likes of Pablo Matera and Leonardo Senatore could find no way through the solid Springbok defensive line, marshalled well by Francois Louw.  The visitors in fact went close twice as first Ruan Pienaar almost got his hands on the ball over the tryline following a kick chase, before Juandre Kruger looked to have crossed before being pulled back for a knock on from Eben Etzebeth.  South Africa were going for the jugular, going for touch instead of goal from kickable penalties, but were held out by resilient Argentine defence and the game reverted back to its standard crash-bang-whallop routine in the middle of the park.

Not much was happening but, after Contepomi had missed a shot at goal from range, the hosts began to inch forward towards the Springbok line and, following a sharp dart from Lucas Amarosino, Bosch managed to squeeze himself through the tackles of Jannie Du Plessis and Engelbrecht to wriggle over for the try, which Contepomi converted.  The hosts once again had a 7 point lead with 3 minutes if the half to go, although this was long enough to Steyn to bang another kick over from range.

The second half began with drama of a different kind as Louw accused Mantera of gouging him – the replays were inconclusive but Mantera’s hands were dangerously close to Louw’s eyes, regardless.  He’s since been cited (but cleared) since the end of the game, but Walsh couldn’t see any foul play at the time, so Steyn had to make do with a 3-pointer for a separate offence to make it a one point game.  Soon it was back though to a standard affair of slow ball and strong defence with neither side able to break the other down – the only sparks came from when tempers occasionally boiled over and from when Senatore allegedly got a bit peckish and had a nibble of Etzebeth’s arm.  I find this odd as there are far meatier arms available to chew on in the Springbok pack, but the incident has earned Senatore a 9 week ban following a citing even if he did escape punishment on the pitch.  Ironically, it was the hosts who had the next penalty following a powerful scrum (in itself a miraculous improvement from the previous week) but the attempted kick from beyond half way fell agonisingly wide.

The tension and tempers was stepping up to new levels, so it made sense that, with 8 minutes left, Mr Cool himself, Morne Steyn, would step up to slot a penalty following a collapsed maul, with Marcos Ayerza the guilty party.  South Africa were ahead for the first time in the game and they never looked like relinquishing that lead as they pressurised the hosts to the end – despite opting for a lineout instead of a banker of a 3 points, for some reason.  The final whistle went, and another tight affair in Mendoza was brought to a close., with the scoreline settled at 17-19 in the visitors' favour.

South Africa may have had the win but this time the Pumas stood up to them and nearly came away with a victory they would probably have deserved.  It just goes to show – stand up to the bully and you never know what might happen.
 

Rugby Championship Review - New Zealand 27 - 16 Australia

Tradition is a great aspect of most sports.  Whether it’s an ancient rivalry or an initiation that involves an unnerving mix of cross dressing and mud-wrestling, a bit of the old school ways in a professional world still always go down a treat.  And what a tradition the All Blacks and the Wallabies have – usually up there as the 2 best sides in the world, they have played out some frankly unbelievable games over the years.  The only problem is that recently, flying in the face of all tradition, the last few years have been just a tad one sided.

The problem is the All Blacks.  They don’t do sentiment or tradition when it comes to other sides – well, not intentionally anyway.  They are the most ruthlessly efficient and dominant side on the planet, and that stems from a desire to win at all costs, not maintain intriguing rivalries or other wet notions like that.  Of course, internally, it’s a different matter – with as proud a rugby heritage as the black ferns have, there is bound to be some sentiment in that famous All Black shirt, and rightly so.  And one of the great All Black traditions is to have a never ending supply of Test quality fly halves, and stepping into those rather large boots was Crusaders utility back Tom Taylor, following injuries to Aaron Cruden, Dan Carter and Beauden Barrett.   

If Taylor was hoping for a nice, relaxing start to life as a Test fly half, he would have been rather shocked at the frantic opening in store for him as he got the 2^nd Bledisloe Test underway.  Will Genia’s clearance kick was charged down, Taylor made a half break, was turned over by Michael Hooper and James O’Connor made a promising burst off down the left before James Slipper was bundled into touch.  All within the first 20 seconds of the game.  And the Wallabies soon had the upper hand in the madness, as the men in gold capitalised in a kick out on the full by Israel Dagg which allowed Hooper and Matt Toomua to make half breaks – something Toomua seemed allergic to last week – and force the All Blacks into conceding a penalty.  Stephen Moore may have had a claim at a try, but Jaco Payper wasn’t interested and the boot of Christian Lealiifano made the score 3-0 to the visitors.

The All Blacks nearly struck straight back as Ben Smith hit a great line off Taylor and scythed through the middle of the defence, giving Julian Savea a run for the corner, only to be denied by a strong tackle from Israel Folau.  Folau’s namesake, Dagg, then went close after skipping past Stephen Moore and Ben Mowen in a typically electric burst, before Taylor missed the ensuing penalty attempt. 

But the Wallabies were looking the more dangerous overall, without having the cutting edge of the hosts.  They were certainly winning the territory game – thanks mostly to Genia’s cultured boot and strong carries from the likes of Slipper and Moore – and they were rewarded with a penalty attempt after Folau’s pass was adjudged to be slapped down deliberately by Ben Smith, although they were unlucky not to be playing against 14 men after Ma’a Nonu shoulder charged Slipper in the head.  Question:  when did Nonu become the complete boneheaded buffoon he seems to be nowadays?  Anyway, Lealiifano missed the attempt (his first miss in Test rugby) but then burst clean through the All Blacks defence 2 minutes later following an offload from Moore, only to be hauled down 2 metres short by Aaron Smith.  It was a superb piece of cover by the scrum-half, who then cynically prevented a quick release of the ball and thus saved a try.  A guaranteed yellow card, surely?  Apparently not, and as the world began to moan about All Black double standards, Lealiifano knocked the yellow card-less penalty over to extend his team’s lead to 6 points.

The advantage, as is so often the case against the Kiwis, did not last for long.  After Kieran Read had reclaimed a Dagg high kick, slick hands from Savea, Dagg and Steven Luatua gave try-machine Ben Smith a 30 metre run-in for his side’s first score of the game.  Taylor converted with his first points in Test rugby and the hosts had the lead for the first time after nearly 30 minutes.  Taylor was looking increasingly assured in his pivotal role despite the fact that the lineout was badly malfunctioning, and soon added another 3 points as the All Blacks began to hammer away at the Wallaby line.

With the scores at 10-6 and halftime fast approaching, Taylor was off target with an ambitious 55-metre attempt on goal, but a bad fumble by Ben Mowen as the All Blacks kicked back the restart handed the impetus back to the hosts.  Steven Luatua smashed through a gap in the defence and spectacularly rounded Jesse Mogg before being hauled down by James O’Connor 3 metres out, but the All Blacks had quick ball and lightning hands from Conrad Smith and Dagg put Ben Smith in for his 2^nd of the night.  Taylor managed to hit both uprights from outwide, but the score was now somehow 15 – 6 after an entertaining first half that had felt very evenly contested.

The second half then started just as manically as the first – after an engaging first 3 minutes where Toomua and Conrad Smith broke through only to be pulled back for various infractions, Toomua claimed a turnover and O’Connor blaster 70 metres down the left, before just being hauled down by Taylor.  Once again, the All Blacks infringed within sniffing distance of their line but were somehow only punished by a penalty as opposed to a card.  This time the Wallabies went for the lineout but, yet again, came away with nothing as Kieran Read pinched the ball of Ben Alexander and, as usual, they were made to pay for their lack of precision as Taylor hammered over another penalty after a pile-driving scrum by his pack.

The visitors were still keeping hold of the ball in dangerous areas but were unable to crack the line like their opponents – although Folau went close – but were at least rewarded with a penalty when Conrad Smith strayed offside.  Despite Lealiifano’s kick though, the men in gold were still on the back foot in the set piece and another monster scrum led to another easy 3 for Taylor.

The game then descended into a fairly unimpressive game of “who can kick the worst?”, in which the Wallabies claimed a narrow victory, led heroically by the prodigiously talented, but ham-booted, Jesse Mogg, with Ma’a Nonu also doing his best to ruin an exciting game with an abysmal display of kicking.  Kiwi commentator Grant Nesbitt even said it was so bad that it reminded him of Twickenham (what, Nesbo, the place where your beloved All Blacks got hammered last year?!  Not that I took his comment personally...).  

The Wallabies were showing no interest in counter-attacking despite sitting 12 points down, but it was bizarre to keep playing territory when their lineout had collapsed under pressure from Brodie Retallick and Sam Whitelock.  The men in gold then got they deserved as Taylor took advantage of the All Blacks dominance and knocked over another 3 points, before Folau claimed a consolation score, intercepting an appalling pass from Nonu to step past Dagg and stride over the line.  It was a frustrating indication of the brilliance of the Aussie backline, but the side had just shown a blunt refusal to give the ball to them in space.  There was still time for Dagg to knock over a final 3 pointer, and with the final whistle went a 27-16 victory and the Bledisloe Cup.

Following the final whistle and the lifting of the trophy, there was still time for stalwart prop Tony Woodcock to be presented with his 100^th cap – and that’s about as close to sentimental as you can get with the All Blacks.  They mean business.

 

Rugby Championship Preview - Argentina v South Africa

The South Americans are a passionate bunch.  The stereotype of your Argentine gentleman is one with a curled mullet and sharp moustache who unleashes sharp shrills of excitement when his post gets delivered.  Easily excited, even more easily riled, that stereotype of Latino passion and flair is one which is obviously a tad over the top, but there are hints of that in their sports teams.  Play Argentina in football and you’ll spend most of your time chasing shadows – play Argentina in rugby and you’ll get your head kicked in.  Yes, the Pumas key asset for so many years has been that passion and aggression, combined with an almost unsurpassable aggression and a thirst to prove themselves.  It was this that was the key driving force behind the World Cup 2007 run and their victories at Twickenham and Cardiff; it was this that was starkly lacking in their hammering against South Africa last weekend.

Never in my life have I seen an Argentina side give up.  They’ve been soundly beaten before, against the likes of the All Blacks, but they’ve carried on fighting until the final whistle, earning the respect of their opponents.  After 50 minutes against the Springboks, they had given up.  Falling off tackles, walking between breakdowns – this was a shameful display from a side that has the potential to mix it with anyone and everyone when they get their heads right.  Even without their inspirational captain, Juan Martin Fernandez Lobbe, there was enough power and panache in that side – with the likes of Marcelo Bosch, Juan Martin Fernandez and Juan Manuel Leguizamon – to put up a real scrap.  It’s difficult to pick up on tactical or technical shortcomings when the attitude is that poor.  And when the scrum is getting hammered, you know the Pumas are in trouble.  If they are to compete in this game, they will rely on 2 things – getting their heads right and Marcos Ayerza, the returning loosehead prop.

The South Africans, of course, are no strangers themselves to brute force, and they administered the 60 point hiding last week with a ruthless efficiency that also showed some surprising levels of invention, in particular from fullback Willie Le Roux.  Heyneke Meyer will be acutely aware though that his side cannot expect to come up against another wet-blanket display this time around, particularly with a packed and vocal crowd in Mendoza roaring on the hosts.  This will be a test of their power game and Willem Alberts, outstanding last week, will have to lead the charge there, whilst Morne Steyn, the most boringly effective man in rugby, will need to diffuse any upper hand the Pumas game by playing territory with intelligence and authority.

The South Americans will come out with renewed passion and spirit this week, but is that enough to turn over a 60 point deficit?  It’s time to live up to the stereotype.

 

Argentina Team News

Juan Martin Hernandez has been ruled out through injury so Lucas Gonzalez Amorosino starts at fullback. And in a further change to the backs, Bath's Horacio Agulla gets the nod on the wing in place of Juan Imhoff who is named on the bench. In the front-row Marcos Ayerza has recovered from injury and takes his place at loose-head with Juan Figallo moving across to tight-head. In the locks, Julio Farias Cabello and Mariano Galarza start in place of Patricio Albacete and Manuel Carizza.

Starting Line-up:  Lucas Gonzalez Amorosino, Gonzalo Camacho, Marcelo Bosch, Felipe Contepomi (captain), Horacio Agulla, Nicolás Sánchez, Martín Landajo, Marcos Ayerza, Eusebio Guiñazú, Juan Figallo, Julio Farías Cabello, Mariano Galarza, Pablo Matera, Juan Manuel Leguizamón, Leonardo Senatore

Subs: Agustín Creevy, Nahuel Lobo, Tomas Lavaninni, Benjamin Macome, Tomás Cubelli, Santiago Fernández, Juan Imhoff

Key Player

Marcos Ayerza.  The set piece as a whole took a pasting last week, with the scrum looking about as stable as Charlie Sheen after couple of shandies, but the big Leicester loosehead lends a wealth of experience and power to the front row.  Very rarely outscrummaged and with fantastic handling skills, Ayerza has long been held back from starts for his country by the legendary Rodrigo Roncero, and he will be fiercely determined to stamp his authority on that number 1 shirt.  If the Argentines are to be at all competitive, they must front up physically – and that will all start in the scrum.

 

South Africa Team News

Unsurprisingly the Springboks have named the same starting line-up for the match in Argentina with the only change coming on the bench with Jano Vermaak replacing Fourie du Preez who is unavailable due to his club commitments with the Suntory Sungoliath.

Starting Line up: Willie le Roux; Bjorn Basson, JJ Engelbrecht, Jean de Villiers (captain), Bryan Habana; Morne Steyn, Ruan Pienaar; Duane Vermeulen, Willem Alberts, Francois Louw; Juandre Kruger, Eben Etzebeth; Jannie du Plessis, Adriaan Strauss, Tendai Mtawarira.

Subs: Bismarck du Plessis, Gurthro Steenkamp, Coenie Oosthuizen, Flip van der Merwe, Siya Kolisi, Jano Vermaak, Patrick Lambie, Jan Serfontein.

Key Player

Morne Steyn.  'Efficient' has probably never been a more appropriate description of a player than for Steyn.  He does nothing flash – tackling solidly, passing well and kicking like a dream – but boy is he effective at keeping that scoreboard ticking over.  And why be flash when you have blokes the size of rampaging rhinoceros on either side of you?!  He will be expecting another armchair ride from his forward pack so he can release the speed and power outside him, but if the Pumas do show up he will have to show his cool head and play the corners to diffuse any passion stirring in the crowd.

Key Battle

Pablo Mantera v Willem Alberts.  The young Argentine blindside was one of the few plus points to emerge from last Saturday's debacle in South Africa.  Mobile and powerful, he was committed to the end – but he will need to find a new realm of physicality if he is to compete with Alberts.  English players have commented previously that Alberts was almost the sole reason why they have been bullied by South Africa in recent years, and the bulldozing brute was at his best last weekend – crashing through tackles and making yards with ease.  Mantera must get into his face early on and shut him down before he builds up some steam.

Prediction

Playing a full strength Argentine side in Mendoza is a tough challenge, even if you are coming off a 60 point victory.  You can bank of the crowd and coaching staff riling the Pumas up for this one, and they won't be taking a backward step against the visitors for the first half an hour.  The key question is whether or not they can maintain that physicality, without it dropping off alarmingly like it did last week.  If they can, we may be in for a tight affair like the 15-15 draw last year – if not, they will be in for another long night.  South Africa by 12.
 

Rugby Championship Preview - New Zealand v Australia

I have to say I've never been the biggest fan of the Cake Tin.  The home ground of the Wellington Hurricanes and the venue for tomorrow's Bledisloe game is a giant, circular band of metal and yellow seats which are so far away from the action you're almost in the car park.  Compared to some of the other grounds in New Zealand it's soulless, unimaginative and has an atmosphere that could be surpassed by spending a night in a morgue.  But I predict with confidence that the Tin will be bubbling over come Saturday night.  Why?  Not only is it a Bledisloe game, but everybody's favourite pantomime villain is coming to town.

In the first match in Sydney we saw some stunning tries and breathtaking skill, and yet the loudest noise of the day was reserved for the booing of Quade Cooper whenever he was on the big screen, caught the ball, or even thought about going near the ball.  I'm working on the assumption that the vast majority of those booing would be Kiwis, given his history with the men in black and in particular Richie McCaw, but the noise was deafening – how much louder is it going to be when the game is actually played south of the Tasman?!

Of course, it wasn't the boo boys who brought about the 29 – 47 loss for the Wallabies last week.  The hosts, despite having a promising looking side on paper – based entirely on form in Super Rugby – did not gel as quickly as coach Ewan McKenzie would have liked and, despite impressive bursts from the excellent Adam Ashley Cooper, Will Genia and Michael Hooper, lacked any real impetus in attack.  The vast majority of the tries against them were down to individual mistakes, but the key issue in attack was that the Wallabies very rarely had somebody attacking the line.  Matt Toomua, making his debut, looked nervous and happy to pass on the responsibility as soon as he got it, without any variation in his game – but this did improve with introduction of Quade Cooper, who took the ball flat to the line and flicked a couple of delicious inside passes to keep the defences guessing.  McKenzie has stuck with Toomua for this week, but he'll be desperate for his 10 to relax and show the form he has against Kiwi sides in Super Rugby this year.

For the All Blacks, however, it was a case of same-old, same-old.  Even when they lose giant, bone-crunching specimens of blindsides like Jerome Kaino (to Japan) and Liam Messam (to injury), they manage to replace them with…a giant, bone-crunching specimen of a blindside, in the shape of Steven Luatua.  It's just not fair.  But all the key ingredients to a classic All Blacks performance were there in abundance in Sydney on Saturday – power, speed and precision, not to mention some touches of utter class.  Israel Dagg had a relatively quiet game but his touches with ball in hand were mesmeric when it came to creating space, in particular for Ben Smith's second try.  Is there a weakness to be exploited?  Well,  possibly.  The All Blacks are going through a fly-half injury crisis of such World Cup 2011 proportions that I'm surprised Stephen Donald hasn't flown over with his boots readily laced.  Instead, it's Crusader utility-back Tom Taylor who shall wear the hallowed All Black 10 jersey – a smart operator he may be, but he doesn't possess the natural instinct or ruthlessness of Carter or Cruden.  Perhaps, as a newbie, he could be the weak link?  Maybe, but history has shown that the All Blacks don't really do weak links.

Of course, the fly half Kiwis will be most excited about setting eyes on will be the one on the bench for the Wallabies.  We all love a pantomime villain, and we all love a show – and that's exactly what the Cake Tin will get on Saturday.

New Zealand Team News

Aaron Cruden and Beauden Barrett are both out injured so Steve Hansen has opted to give Tom Taylor his Test debut. With Taylor in at fly-half, Colin Slade is named on the bench as his back-up. Brodie Retallick is also handed a start in place of the injured Luke Romano. In other changes to the replacements, Charles Piutau, Jeremy Thrush, Dane Coles and Wyatt Crockett are all called up.

Starting Line-up:  Israel Dagg; Ben Smith, Conrad Smith, Ma'a Nonu, Julian Savea; Tom Taylor, Aaron Smith; Kieran Read, Richie McCaw (captain), Steven Luatua; Sam Whitelock, Brodie Retallick; Owen Franks, Andrew Hore, Tony Woodcock.

Subs: Dane Coles, Wyatt Crockett, Charlie Faumuina, Jeremy Thrush, Sam Cane, Tawera Kerr-Barlow, Colin Slade, Charles Piutau.

Key Player

Aaron Smith.  Playing for the Highlanders was a pretty thankless task this season, whilst playing alongside the likes of Dan Carter or Aaron Cruden isn't much better – rather like playing next to the big kid at under 10 level with everyone shouting "Just pass him the ball".  But steadily, the young scrum half has increased in influence in a position that has been arguably the one area of weakness since the great Justin Marshall retired.  Against the Wallabies his delivery was crisp, his kicking solid, and his threat around the base of the breakdown had the home pack consistently back-peddling.  With a new 10 outside him, he now has to be the boss and take charge of proceedings, as well as making sure he gives Mr Taylor as comfortable a ride as possible with some slick service – the All Blacks cannot afford to have that 9-10 relationship severed.

Australia Team News

With Hugh McMeniman ruled out for six months through injury, Scott Fardy is named at blindside. And in the only other change to the Wallabies' 23-man squad, Kane Douglas replaces Fardy on their bench.

Starting Line up: Jesse Mogg; Israel Folau, Adam Ashley-Cooper, Christian Leali'ifano, James O'Connor; Matt Toomua, Will Genia; Ben Mowen, Michael Hooper, Scott Fardy; James Horwill (captain), Rob Simmons; Ben Alexander, Stephen Moore, James Slipper.

Subs: Saia Fainga'a, Scott Sio, Sekope Kepu, Kane Douglas, Liam Gill, Nic White, Quade Cooper, Tevita Kuridrani.

Key Player

Scott Fardy.  The 29 year old may be a bit of a late bloomer in Test rugby but that doesn't mean he can't make a big impact on his first start.  There are few places less forgiving to learn the ropes at international level than New Zealand, but if the big blindside carries on his form from Super Rugby then he should fit right in.  The only way to beat the Kiwis is to rattle their cages and surprise them with raw physicality, outmuscling them at the breakdown and fighting tooth and nail for every loose ball.  As a number 6, Fardy has to take the role of enforcer and take the powerful Steven Luatua head on – if he gets in the faces of the All Blacks, then who knows…he may start a panic.

 

Key Battle

Tom Taylor v Matt Toomua.  The Canterbury fly half has filled in admirably for Dan Carter for the Crusaders over recent years, but he's never been blessed with raw attacking instincts and he's been playing more at 12 and 15 this year.  He will be rusty, and nervous, but he will be comforted by the knowledge that his opposite number is only 60 minutes more experienced in the international arena.  Matt Toomua was in great form for the Brumbies this year but looked like he soiled himself every time he got the ball, shovelling it on straight away without straightening the attack or threatening the defensive line.  McKenzie has made a big call in keeping the youngster in despite Quade Cooper's impressive cameo last week, and with bags of talent in both sets of backlines, there will be a heck of a lot of pressure on the newbies to relax into their natural game and to pull the trigger when the opportunities arise.

Prediction

They say a week is a long time in sport.  Well, it’s not that long – I can't see the Wallabies recovering from an 18 point humbling and sneaking out a win against the All Blacks in their own backyard.  I do, however, think that we'll see a much better performance this time around – the players in gold have had one more week to get used to new combinations, and the news that the Kiwis will have a rookie fly half will have provided some encouragement.  The Cake Tin may not be an intimidating venue but the Kiwis very, very rarely lose on their patch and the way their pack throttled their opposite numbers last week makes me think that, barring a calamitous chain of events, we'll see yet another All Blacks win (yawn) and the Bledisloe staying south of the Tasman.  New Zealand by 11.
 

Rugby Championship Review - South Africa 73 - 13 Argentina

Physicality is sort of a staple of rugby.  You can’t waft about like a wet flannel on the pitch, unless you’re Quade Cooper of course, because otherwise you’ll get shown up and ran over.  Several times.  But still, physicality, takes on a whole new meaning when it comes to the Argentinians and South Africans.  Fed on a diet of entire raw cows from the age of 6 upwards, these nations build giant, angry mountains of men who spend their spare time wrestling bulls, headbutting their way through brick walls and playing Fifa on “world class” difficulty mode.  These guys are real men.

Of course, I’m exaggerating the stereotype a bit, but South African coach Heyneke Meyer couldn’t care less about that.  He’s got his side playing that brand of ultra-physical, direct, territory-based rugby that’s no easier on the eyes than it is on the opposition shoulder joints.  But, despite getting criticism from certain sections of the South African rugby fan base for not playing more expansively, he’s got them winning – they haven’t lost a game since last year’s indifferent performance in the Rugby Championship.  Since last October, the Springboks powered past England, Scotland and Ireland on an autumn tour before hammering the Scots, Italians and Samoans (in a brutal contest) over the summer.  But there is a worry that this South African side is incapable of turning it on against the biggest opposition – namely, the All Blacks.  Despite a raft of young talent now coming through, with Pat Lambie and Jan Serfontein all looking like world-class operators, success will only be measured by results against the Kiwis.

For the Argentinians, they’re not under quite as much pressure, but that doesn’t mean that they’re not facing the heat from other angles.  In terms of expectations, the Pumas aren’t really suffering as they continue to carry the ‘new boy’ tag into the Southern Hemisphere side and go into the championship fresh off a hiding from a second string England XV (although, to be fair, the Argentines weren’t exactly at full strength either).  But there is a constant internal pressure from this side – a determination that they will not be seen as a second-rate side on one of rugby’s premier international competitions.  They don’t want to take as long as Italy have in the Six Nations to get up to speed, being forced to put up with phrases like “We won’t be taking them lightly” (meaning “we’re going to have a try-fest”), “Rome is always a tough place to go” (“the traffic out of the stadium is a nightmare” and “They’re always improving” (“They’re slightly less sh*t this year”).  And with stalwarts like Roncero and Contepomi either retired or should be retired, it’s going to be up to a new breed of Pumas to carry on that passion and power that have made the South Americans such a force to be reckoned with.

To begin with, it looked as if Santiago Phelan’s men would live up to their reputation as the equals of the Bok’s physicality, going toe to toe with the hosts in a scrappy start that was riddled with re-set scrums, dodgy lineouts and penalty kicks which resulted in a trio of 3 pointers for the South Africans, courtesy of the boot of Morne Steyn, and 6 points for the Pumas, kicked by Felipe Contepomi.  With 28 minutes played, it looked like we were going to be in for a real scrap of a game.  But then it all changed.

Following a powerful shunt off a lineout close to the Argentine line, Springbok hooker Adriaan Strauss looked to find Ruan Piennaar free on the left for what looked like a walk-over, but instead the chunky hand of his opposite number, Eusebio Guinazu, knocked the pass down.  It wasn’t the smartest of moves by the hooker, as referee Chris Pollock checked the video and decided the offence was worthy of both a penalty try and a yellow card.

2 minutes later and things went from bad to worse for the visitors, as Gonzalo Comacho was turned over following a sharp break on the South African 22 metre line.  The ball found its way to Willie Le Roux, who chipped superbly for JJ Engelbrecht to jog in under the sticks, with Argentine misery compounded by the sight of Juan Martin Hernandez hobbling from the field.  There was still time for one more penalty from Steyn, who had been flawless with his kicking, and the Springboks carried a 26-6 lead into half time despite not having as much possession as their opponents.

Generally half-time is to be seen as a bit of a regrouping exercise when you’re down by 20 points, but for some reason it had the opposite effect on the Pumas – and it is not too harsh to say that the second half display was an embarrassment to those who were wearing the Argentina jersey.  It took just five minutes for the rout to get well and truly underway, with Strauss burrowing over following a powerful lineout drive that was quickly becoming the Boks’ most potent weapon.   Number 8 Leonardo Senatore then didn’t help matters by getting himself sinbinned for a dangerous tackle – harshly in my opinion – and the hosts wasted no time in taking full advantage, with big blindside Willem Alberts crashing over from yet another lineout drive.  Steyn shockingly missed the conversion, but the score was still 38-6 after 52 minutes.

Jean De Villiers then claimed one of the easiest tries of his career as he claimed an intercept from one of the slowest passes ever thrown in the history of the game from Juan Manuel Leguizamon, before a superb breakout by the Springbok captain and Bryan Habana led to a try for returning scrum half Fourie Du Preez.  By this time, Mother Theresa would have shown more aggression than the Pumas defence, and when substitute Pat Lambie and lock Eben Etzebeth casually walked through the defence to set up a score for Bryan Habana, it looked as if the players in the famous blue and white shirts had given up.

Duane Vermeulen battered his way over the line to compound the Argentine misery following a good bust by promising centre Jan Serfontein and was swiftly followed over the whitewash by Bismarck Du Plessis courtesy of...yes, you guessed it...another rolling maul off a lineout.  The Argentines did cross the line themselves with the last play of the game, with Contepomi finishing off a sweeping move involving Pablo Matera and Augustin Creevy, but you could barely even call it a consolation with the score at 73 - 6.

This wasn’t just a thrashing, this was a humiliation.  The fact that the Pumas’ attitude dropped away in the second half and allowed the South Africans to literally walk through tackles will not be dealt with gently by Phelan – and they need to sort it out quickly.  They meet the Springboks again next week and if they haven’t had a serious attitude adjustment...well, the South Africans look like they’re still living up to the unforgiving stereotype – and I don’t think any fans will be complaining about that right now.
 

Rugby Championship Review - Australia 29 - 47 New Zealand

It’s not the easiest time to be an Aussie sports fan.  After the ignominy of being beaten by the likes of Hungary in the 2012 Olympic Medals Table, they’ve now suffered a series defeat to the British and Irish Lions and are getting spanked all over the ground in the Ashes series.  You could almost feel sorry for them – but then you can recall the memories of a smug John Eales and a gloating Glenn McGrath, two of the finest performers in their respective sport for so long, and it’s easy to dispel any feelings of sympathy.  Especially when you consider all that they have dominated ahead of the Brits over the years – Ashes, Wimbledon titles, and now, worst of all, Liz Hurley.  Thanks Shane Warne.

But I have to admit I love the Aussies.  They’re brilliantly competitive in everything they do, and that inevitably means that they will always pick themselves up and end up on top again.  It’s not a question of if – it’s a question of when.  ‘When’ can’t come soon enough though for the beleaguered men in gold; with the public pressure finally forcing Robbie Deans out of the supremo spot, Ewan Mackenzie, former Reds Super XV winning coach, has taken on the reigns.  How desperate he would have been to get that first win – a shaken up squad, with big names dropped and the majority of players in the form of their lives from this season’s 2 most successful Aussie franchises, the Reds and Brumbies – if he could get that first victory, Mackenzie would be the toast of the southern hemisphere.  Slight problem though – up against him stood a tediously impressive All Blacks side.

Since that blip against England when the New Zealanders looked briefly human – thanks in part to their worst enemy, the mysterious stomach bug, the kiwis have looked ominously good.  They ruthlessly ripped France apart and, whilst merely beating the French isn’t the hardest achievement at the moment, they dominated them as totally as John Goodman dominates a buffet.  In Aaron Cruden, Ben Smith and Steven Luatua, they have blokes who aren’t necessarily first choice when everyone is fit and yet they looked utterly world class in their showings against Les Bleus – it is an unbelievable strength in depth, and one which has them as odds on favourites once again to win the Rugby Championship this year.  Surely a Bledisloe game against a relatively unfamiliar Wallaby side would be a cakewalk?

From the moment we had finished watching the painfully-politely observed haka, there was only one team in it.  Jesse Mogg set the tone for his night by kicking aimlessly to Israel Dagg, Stephen Moore knocked on under pressure and all of a sudden the All Blacks were hammering away at the Wallaby line.  From that range, there is simply no better side in world rugby at finishing opportunities – and they didn’t disappoint here, with a sumptuous flick pass from Aaron Cruden drawing James O’Connor, doing his best headless chicken impression, off his wing to give Ben Smith an easy run in for his 5^th Test try.  Cruden added the extras, and it was 7-0 to the All Blacks.

Luckily, for the home crowd, the Aussies didn’t crumble immediately from the shock of the opening onslaught, and the men in gold forced a couple of errors for the kiwis to earn themselves two pots at goal – the second of which was slotted by Christian Lealiifano after Mogg had missed his attempt from long range.

This seemed to spur the hosts on, rekindling the spirit they showed in the second Test match against the Lions and, to an extent, the Third, where they fought back to within a score after a shocking start.  Michael Hooper was having a ding-dong battle with Richie McCaw, and the younger man’s turnover gave O’Connor the chance to dance his way up field and force another penalty from the Kiwi Captain, which Lealiifano duly knocked over.  Centre Adam Ashley Cooper then had the Sydney crowd on its feet with a superb break in the midfield, but Will Genia was uncharacteristically indecisive and, well, crap, and dropped an aimless chip kick straight into the hands of Dagg.  Despite the miss, there was Lealiifano nudged over 2 more penalties, sandwiching an effort from Cruden, to give the Wallabies a 2 point lead and it was game on.

Unfortunately, the hard work was undone as Genia, hindered by the conveniently-strewn Steven Luatua, threw a slow pass to Lealiifano, who performed a slow motion kick that was easily charged down by onrushing Cruden, who had the simple task on diving on the looseball as it crossed the line.  Three minutes later, they were getting over the whitewash again as slick handling from Conrad Smith gave McCaw, who was growing in influence every minute, the chance to dive over in the right hand corner.  Although Cruden missed the extras, it looked for all the world like the All Blacks would take a 10 point lead into half time.

Not if Genia had anything to do with it.  Despite a couple of mistakes, the star scrum half had looked threatening and when Hooper fed him the ball in space after snaffling a lineout 80 metres out, he didn’t look back.  Showing searing speed, he outstripped Cruden before scooting past Aaron Smith and Dagg to claim an outstanding score, and bring the Aussies right back into it – despite another Kiwi penalty on the half time whistle.

The game stayed on a knife edge for the first 10 minutes of the second half, but there was always the feeling that the Wallabies weren’t quite at the races.  Matt Toomua, the Brumbies fly half, was solid but offered as much of a threat as a gang of butterflies in attack, whilst the dangerous wing-duo of James O’Connor and Israel Folau were kept virtually anonymous throughout.  You sensed a breakthrough for the visitors was coming, and sure enough it came when the electric Aaron Smith sniped well the send his namesake, Conrad, through with just Mogg to beat.  Despite the full back bravely doing a flapping star jump in the face of the onrushing centre, Smith senior had no problem in snaking his way over the line for another score for the All Blacks.  Things then got even better for the Kiwis as Luatua snaffled a loose ball off a scrum, and smart handling from Dagg and Cruden allowed Ben Smith to touch down in the corner.

Things were now so bad that Mackenzie had no choice but to haul the ineffectual Toomua off and give Cooper a dance at fly half for the last 20 minutes, but by now the damage had been done.  The Wallabies did look far more threatening with the Queensland 10 at fly half, with O’Connor and Mowen both making good yards off sharp inside balls, but when sub Tevita Kuridrani coughed up the ball in a counter attack to allow Ben Smith to gather and skate over for his hat-trick, it showed just how rusty this Aussie outfit is with one another.  Thankfully, they were at least able to finish on a high with O’Connor spotting a mismatch to scoot over from 10 metres out, but the optimism from before the game seemed a long time ago.

Wierdly though, there are plenty of upshots to this game for the Wallabies.  The team felt far more balanced on the whole than it did during the whole Lions series, and it was, on the whole, just rustiness and individual mistakes that led to the tries.  In particular, with Cooper on the field, the men in gold looked far more threatening – but this was by and away the All Black’s night.  The old guard, in the shape of Reed and McCaw, continued to dominate, whilst the new crop looked pretty handy as well.

Which means it looks likes it is going to be hard time to be any rugby fan, let alone an Aussie one, for a little while longer yet.
 

Rugby Championship Preview

It’s an exciting time of year to be a sports fan.  The European domestic rugby season is surging every closer, the cricket season is reaching a climax and even the USA’s only decent sport, the NFL, is just getting rolling.  But of course, in the UK, the biggest source of gossip for badly written newspapers and sports shows is the beginning of the bloody Premiership football season. 

Don’t get me wrong, I like football, but if I have to read about how Shrek’s uglier and sweatier cousin, Wayne Rooney, is whinging about being forced to honour the £200,000 a week contract he signed to play for the biggest club in the world, then I think I might cry.  Seriously, Wayne, grow a pair – can you imagine the likes of Leigh Halfpenny or Chris Robshaw having a tantrum if they briefly fell out of favour at their clubs?  Pull your socks up, get on the training pitch, prove your boss wrong, and claw your way back to that first choice spot.  Don’t bleat about it to newspapers.

Anyway, enough about football – and that’s before I’ve got stuck into that greasy, horse-faced nibbler Luis Suarez – because thankfully a very manly tournament is about to get underway in the Southern Hemisphere.  The smugly named Rugby Championship (why not the Four Nations) has long been the envy of the northern hemisphere whilst it was in its 3 nation format, and the introduction of Argentina hasn’t done anything to change that.  The speed, the skill, the massive hits and the suspect defensive work (careful...) makes for edge-of-the-seat rugby rather than the sporting turds we get served up in the Six Nations.

And this year, with new coaches and emerging coaches, there’s even more reason to get interested in the crème-de-la-crème of Southern Hemisphere rugby.  Let’s dive in and take a look at the 4 teams and their prospects for the upcoming tournament.

 

New Zealand

Head Coach: Steve Hansen.  Although being successor to World Cup winner Graham Henry isn’t easy, Steve’s had a pretty good start – one loss to England aside (ouch).

Captain:  Richie McCaw.  The legendary flanker is back after a sabbatical of sipping wine and going fishing, so the jury is still out on whether or not he’ll be fresh or rusty – but one thing not in doubt is how important his leadership is to the squad.  The chisel-jawed warrior sticks his face where most people won’t stick their feet and appears to be best buddies with every ref on the planet – a lethal mix for a captain.

Key Player: Aaron Cruden.  Normally the staple answer here is Dan Carter – and true, he has looked good for the Crusaders this season – but Cruden has for me been the form fly half in New Zealand for a while.  He is rapidly developing into a top level international 10 and makes up for his lack of size with a lightening pass and a superb rugby brain.  He may have the physical dimensions and appearance of a garden gnome, but he’s a tenacious character who, with Carter injured for the first 2 games at least, will be key to New Zealand success.

Prospects:  Despite an impressive whitewash of the French, you look at their absentee list and you almost want to write off their chances – Dan Carter, Wyatt Crockett and Dane Coles are all missing at least some of the tournament, whilst key centre Ma’a Nonu seems to currently be as reliable a lifeguard with Attention Deficit Disorder.  But then you remember that blokes like Cruden, Rene Ranger, Israel Dagg, Liam Messam and Kieran Read are all in superb form, and you get back to where you started – the All Blacks are going to be very hard to beat

One to Watch:  Rene Ranger.  Sure, he blows hot and cold, but the Blues centre/wing has been a force of nature this year, blasting through people with his raw power and rea-Ranger-ing (sorry) people in the tackle with, well, his raw power.  The guy is an absolute specimen and will be sure to cause some sleepless nights to whoever is unlucky enough to mark him.

Prediction:  1^st.  Again.  New players, same result – another Championship and Bledisloe for the All Blacks.

South Africa

Head Coach: Heyneke Mayer.  The ex-Bulls and Leicester Tigers coach seems to get praise or criticism depending on what the weather is like.  His side are consistently winning against lesser teams in the northern hemisphere, but pressure is building for the South Africans to start taking the really big scalps and to start playing more expansively than their current paint-dryingly dull gameplan allows.

Captain:  Jean De Villiers.  He may resemble Skeletor, but don’t let that fool you – despite being one of the toughest centres in world rugby, he is also one of the most honourable and fair players around, commanding respect from teammates and opposition.  His calming and direct influence will be required as Meyer attempts to fuse new talent with the old guard this season.

Key Player:  Morne Steyn.  The most boring man in rugby to look at and to watch, he is also remarkably effective.  I class him as the Paul Grayson of South African rugby – but I mean that as a compliment.  He is renowned for his phenomenal goal kicking but he is also an underrated playmaker and deceptively quick – there’s just very little song and dance to what he does.  He’s picked himself up from a tough couple of seasons to shine this year and he is absolutely key to the South African machine in terms of gaining field position and keeping the scoreboard ticking over. 

Prospects:  The least surprising prospect in the world, really – the South Africans will be brutally physical.  It will be enough to deal with Argentina and maybe turn Australia over a couple of times, but if they are to progress they need to expand on their predictable kick-based game...otherwise, teams will eventually find them out.

One to Watch:  Jan Serfontein.  This kid is essentially Francois Steyn mark 2.  The 2012 IRB young player of the year is brutally physical and a smart player with the ball in hand.  He may not be first choice but, after year of shining for the Bulls, expect him to get a chance in the Springbok jersey.

Prediction:  3^rd.  Despite a decent showing against inferior sides in the summer, they need to show more than just bish-bash-bosh-kick – and I don’t think Meyer is willing to take the risk of trying something new.

Australia

Head Coach: Ewan Mackenzie.  With all the disappointment the Aussies have gone through with sport lately, Mackenzie has taken on the role of saviour.  Let’s see if he’ll deliver.

Captain: James Horwill.  His face may be a geometrically perfect square, but the Queensland lock is one smart captain as a well as a tough piece of work.  He is an expert at firing his side up and will always be first into the fray, with a colossal physicality his trademark at the breakdown.  He will need to be at his intimidating best if the Wallabies are to have any hope of taking on the big guns.

Key Player: Will Genia.  Yawn.  It’s about as predictable as a hysterical Daily Mail headline following a Kate Middleton fart, but it’s the same every time – this guy is the best scrum half, if not player, in the world.  He leads from the front, barking orders at his team, and his sharp service and intelligent kicking game is complimented by his fantastic pace and eye for a gap.  If he is on top of a game, he is not only capable of winning games by himself...he can turn the form of his entire side round.  He’s that influential.

Prospects:  For the first time in years, the Wallabies go in as a bit of an unknown quantity.  With a new coach and a newly trimmed squad, the atmosphere seems good on the outside but it all depends how much they will click.  Luckily, the fresh start is exactly what was needed after an agonising defeat to the Lions – and if the pack live up to the potential demonstrated by the Brumbies and Reds in Super Rugby, then there is every chance we may see this Wallaby back line run wild.

One to Watch:  Quade Cooper.  OK, he’s not new, but he is so good to watch (as a rugby player, that is).  Recalled from international exile, we know Quade can dance around entire sides with his mesmeric footwork and bamboozle defenders with his frankly unnecessarily good ball skills – but what Mackenzie will be desperate to see is the ability to take hold of a game and boss his side.  If he does that, as well as cutting loose at the appropriate moment, then we could see a star reborn.

Prediction: 2^nd.  I have a good feeling about this Wallabies side, and if their backline and the likes of Israel Folau get involved enough, they will cause anyone problems.

Argentina

Head Coach: Santiago Phelan.  Following on from Marcelo Loffreda and a third place finish in the 2007 World Cup was a bit of a poison chalice, but Phelan has continued with the steady rise of Puma rugby and oversaw an impressive first appearance in the Rugby Championship last year.  There are rumours that this will be his last stint at the helm due to family reasons – he will want to go out with a bang.

Captain:  Juan Martin Fernandez Lobbe.  The Toulon flanker may plead to referees like a turf-diving Italian footballer, but he is also one of the most physically imposing, athletic and dominant back-rowers around.  Constantly a thorn in any opposition’s side, he is a pin-up in South America for good reason – if anyone can lead the Pumas to a first win in the Championship, this guy can.

Key Player:  Marcos Ayerza.  Well known to English fans as being a fabulous prop in the loose and the anchor of a consistently dominant Leicester scrum, the loosehead has generally had to play fiddle to the warrior Rodrigo Roncero on the international circuit.  With the great prop’s retirement though, comes the barrel-chested Puma’s chance to make his significant mark on world rugby.  The Argentine game-plan relies on a dominant set piece – Ayerza will be tasked with supplying this.

Prospects:  A realistic aim should be a first win – probably at home against the Aussies or the Springboks.  They have the back to outmuscle anyone but they also have some underrated talent lurking outside – they just need to start using it.

One to Watch:  Juan Imhoff.  Not a stranger to the international scene by any means, but a sublime finisher with phenomenal agility and dexterity.  This guy knows his way to the line and is not afraid of embarrassing more established (often untouchable) players to get there (Leigh Halfpenny, anyone?).

Prediction: 4^th.  That elusive win may materialise against Australia or South Africa, but it won’t be enough to pull them out of 4^th spot – for this year at least.
 

Apologies, Chiefs and....C.B.W.1.

Right, I should probably open with an apology.  After the drama of that last Lions Test, I had to take an impromptu off-season (well, European off-season) break.  I genuinely think I’ve only just recovered from the hangover I sustained from that night out with my Aussie chums, plus I came back to a pile of work as big as Dylan Hartley’s list of misdemeanours – so all in all, a break from rugby blogging was required.

So what have I missed?  Well I had planned on doing some debrief of the Lions tour, but that didn’t happen.  Besides, I want to wait for the behind the scenes documentary to come out so I can make judgements on banter-levels as well as form during the Tour.  By far the biggest event that I skipped past though was the Super Rugby playoffs – with the final being decided in a tight game between the Chiefs and the Brumbies, with the kiwi outfit coming out on top to retain their title.  Well done to the Chiefs, who have been the frontrunners pretty much all year, but also hats off to the Brumbies who showed that you don’t need experience to win big games as they squeezed past surprise package, the Cheetahs, and the Bulls in nail-biters on their way to the final.

What’s coming up then?  Well pre-season is well underway, so there’ll be a full preview of the Premiership season and, more imminently, there’s the Quad Nations to look forward to.  OK, I know it’s called the Rugby Championship, but I can’t bring myself to call it that – it’s an arrogant name that suggests it’s the only important annual international competition.  Which, to be fair, in terms of entertainment, it pretty much is.  But regardless, that’s 2 months of top class international rugby to look forward to and it will be really interesting to see just how much the All Black win by.

In the meantime, here’s a little compilation I’ve put together of the biggest hits of last season to tee us up for the next 12 months.  I couldn’t think of a name for it, but being a big Alan Partridge fan, Crash, Bang, Wallop (or C.B.W.) seemed appropriate.  Enjoy.